I have an obsession with the Hipster Doily pattern. I just finished my third one (the first was for Hel, the second was for Loki, and the third is just… pretty)
Hey, everyone !
Is someone OK to do a reading for me ? I’ve done it myself but I still want another point of view on the situation. It’s about Hel and my relationship with Her.
I will be glad to do something in return for your time and skill (a reading or a drawing, as you want)
My ex just made a truly classy post on Facebook shaming those who choose not to “come out” to their parents.
I am one of those people who is “in the closet” with their parents. I am in the closet about my sexuality, my gender identity, and, above all, my religious beliefs. I am not ashamed of this…in fact, I feel I have made the correct decision for my particular situation.
Those who refer to staying closeted as the “easy way” are full of shit. Coming out is difficult and takes an immense amount of bravery, but staying closeted is likewise difficult. It hurts to constantly field questions about my love life or to listen to my mother’s uninformed opinions about “paganism” while I bite my tongue and pray that she can’t see the anger on my face. For some people, there is no “easy way” when your own lifestyle is so much different than your family’s.
But as I said, I feel I have made the right choice by staying closeted, and here is why:
1) The choice to stay closeted is not always done in selfishness.
Not everyone who stays closeted does so because they are afraid of being disowned, as my ex suggested in his post. I know my parents would never disown me, but I stay closeted because I am afraid of hurting them, not because I am afraid they will hurt me.
Their nonacceptance hurts me every day, and by now I have grown accustomed to the feeling. But that doesn’t mean I want to turn around and cause them completely unnecessary pain in revenge. I love my parents. I don’t love what they believe, but I do love them. I can’t imagine going through life day by day thinking that my own child was going to spend eternity burning in hell. I abhor that their religion has planted this idea in their heads, but as much as I know it is their religion’s fault and not mine, I am not going to exacerbate the pain they already feel by confirming what they fear about me. My parents have given me so much: love, more comforts than most people will ever experience, and the ørlög that has made me who I am today. The least I can do is allow them a bit of peace of mind in return, unless the day comes when it is absolutely necessary to tell the whole truth.
2) Everyone’s situation is different.
What galled me the most about my ex’s post is that it was coming from a straight cismale agnostic living in an agnostic family. There is absolutely no way he could know what it means to live with these kinds of familial conflicts. Oftentimes it seems that the ones who try to drag others out of their closets don’t actually have it so bad in their own lives and don’t try to understand that others face much worse consequences than they did when making their choice.
Every family is unique, and hence the choice to come out about sexuality/gender/religion/any other identity is likewise an intensely personal choice. There are parents who will immediately embrace their children for who they are. There are other parents who will embrace the truth with time. But there are others still who will throw their children out on the street, send them to the hospital through abuse, or pressure them to change. You have no way of knowing the precise nature of every family and how coming out will affect the ones you pressure.
3) It’s nobody’s business but your own.
Who you have sex with (or don’t have sex with), what Gods you worship, or how you personally identify is nobody’s business but your own. If you choose to tell others, that’s great. If you don’t choose to tell others, that’s also great. There’s no compulsion to talk about your personal life in the public sphere. We claim to value freedom, but for some reason that’s been translated to “freedom to be out at all times” rather than freedom of choice. Freedom is freedom regardless of what you do with it.
You might keep it a secret from everyone. You might only talk about it online. You might talk about it to your closest friends and keep it from everyone else. You might talk about it to everyone but your parents or coworkers. And you might choose to talk about it to everyone. No matter which choice you make, you are not any better or worse of a person for it.
Nobody has the right to assume that you are ashamed of who you are. Nobody has the right to call you a coward. And nobody has the right to make assumptions about your situation or intentions.
I would stand up in front of my entire student body (over 50,000 people) or at a convention of very conservative, and very armed, Ásatrúar and tell them that I am a part-Jewish asexual genderqueer person who worships Loki. However, I would not share parts of that information with my own parents, who I care for deeply and do not want to hurt.
The situation is different for every single person, and their choice to speak out or stay silent is entirely their own.
I’ve been informed that the owner of the Lagutyr blog is open to discussing Hodr and may be doing an informational post in the near future due to the interest shown here. If you would like to discuss Hodr, please feel free to contact OrderInTheQuartz.
*raise hand* I will repeat myself, but I would also be happy to discuss Hodr a bit with people if they want. I’m not as versed as the owner of Lagutyr (love this blog <3), probably, and I’m not a spirit-worker, but if you want… I’m here. :)
Anonymous asked grumpylokeanelder:
I apologize for this not being Loki-specific, but do you have any information on Hod besides the basics? Or any links to shrines, or people who work with him?
No need to apologize. Questions aren’t limited to Loki-related things.
I have a very personal UPG about Hodr, so I will share it. It is UPG, so take what I say with a grain of salt, because, you know. Stranger on the Internet (and I still have to finish the french devotional I began for Him D: this… is important). Gods… I really want to do things for Him, now, because He helped me so, so much.
I “met” Him through poetry. I… I use art as a way to communicate with Gods, even if it’s been a long time and I need to do it again as a devotional practice. I was utterly destroyed after what I’ve been through emotionally and… this poem got in my head. I had to write it to got it unstuck.
Hodr, to me, has a very keen and sharp knowing of his own wyrd, like Baldr, but didn’t tried to escape it in any way. He is a warrior, clearly, but I wonder if He was able to fight without seeing. It was never really clear and it was never on that side of things that He let me sense things about Him, so, sorry, I don’t have much information about this side. But… yeah. He did know He was going to kill His brother. And He accepted this fact, even if it was hard. His wyrd was His wyrd.
He is the Winter to Baldr Summer. He is the ataraxia, He is the first snow and the breath in winter. He is the blood and the sword. He is the duty no-one wants to do but one have to take.
The picture I sensed from Him was a red cloak, red as blood, and black hair.
As a side note, He seems to be on very great terms with Hel, being one of Her guest, and She seems to have a soft spot for Him too.
Yeah… Time for a new devotional for Him.
The Norse and Ancestors altar had a little lifting ! … Yeah, now, everyone seem to be happy (yeah, it took the night, Wysteria), except my great-grand-mother, because I have no picture of her here and I need to find a nice one.
On the left, the small cabinet is the newest addition. It was an old jewelry box I had as a child. I painted it black (no. It was not red) and… tadaaa ! On the top, my plaque representing Hel (I need to do a new one with my new skillz), dried roses and stones from Iceland and Normandy, and the was spilling I use for representing Garm and Mordgud. On the first shelf, things for Iormungand (the snake), Fenrir (the smoked quartz) and Loki. I still need something for Sigyn and her children. On the second shelf, my runes. On the third, the permanent offering bowl.
On the right, the Ancestors part, yaaay ! The book is “Quatre-vingt-treize” by Victor Hugo, a leather-bound book made by my great-grandfather (a very precious thing for me). The picture is my grandfather. As I said… I need a picture of my great-grandmother and something for the Nanny of my mother, too, as she is considered more family by her and myself than her blood family. The fairy with the dragon as always strike me as a guardian of some sort, maybe a representation of the hamyngja of the family now that I think of it. There is also a marble egg, some stone and a pine cone, and, of course, the mini Manga Tarot in his Domo-kun pouch. I have no link at all with Asia in my family, but this tarot ended on the altar and… and… and they like it. So… yeah. For the moment, I will continue to read with it. Runes was not their cup of tea, surprisingly.
The other two decks on the altar are the Healing with the Faeries Oracle (Doreen Virtue) (don’t judge me D: ! … I like this one, it is… cute and kitch…) and the Enchanted Oracle (Jessica Galbreth and Barbara Moore)
Since (FINALLY) welcoming Loki into my life:
I laugh more.
I accept chaos as a vital part of my life.
When I take out my headphones to find out they’re tangled, I don’t get pissy anymore. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder, smile, and untangle that one, strangely careful knot.
When the toast burns (twice in twelve hours) I don’t think of myself as a failure. I put it on a plate and place it on the altar.
When the candles bleed wax all over the altar, I don’t worry about my mother’s reaction. I laugh and say, “It’s because I’m a Lokean, isn’t it?”
I’ve simultaneously gotten snarkier, and better at keeping my mouth shut.
It feels good.
Loki - Shining Wheel Pagan Chorus
Dom doba dee dobe dom bah de be dobe
Three Part Counterpoint:
Dom doba dee dobe dom bah de be dobe
Loki ahaha la la la Loki
Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Yo
Listen to the story ‘bout a shape-shiftin’ trickster.
Odin calls Him brother all the men call him Mister
And He’ll tell you lots of truths and He’ll tell you lots of lies
You gotta find the difference from the fire in his eyes.
When he says the world ain’t what it seems
Beneath the surface it’s all a dream
Now everybody’s got to take a walk through the dark
To reach the other side you know you gotta keep a spark
Loki lost his light so they tied Him to a stone
So learn from Him the pit he’s in don’t have to be your own
Well He’s know a lot of men and he’s know a lot of fools
The difference is decided by whoever make the rules.
If the rules say you can’t or the rules say you won’t
It’s time to change the rules or to find another road.
Loki ahaha la la la Loki